Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
