i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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