Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
