did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize