I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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