So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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