I love black thongs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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