girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
