He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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