dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I deserve this hangover.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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