well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
