question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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