if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
