Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
