Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
