I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
