why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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