making cat noises will not fix the situation.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
