There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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