Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
