i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
