You're my little dorito
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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