Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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