don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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