he was CRYING into my vagina
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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