Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
