beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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