All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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