when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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