what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
