"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
