Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
