You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
