I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
