How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize