Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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