I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
