Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
