btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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