She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
