She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
