I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
