so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
