While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
