Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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