Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize