Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i think my cat just said my name.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
