so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
