if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
