i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
