I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
