Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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