Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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