I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
