Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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