When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
