hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
