Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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