everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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