"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
