You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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