What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
