im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
