no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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