She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
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The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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