its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
