should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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