I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
