Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
