at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
